Well, the end of the world didn’t happen yesterday, but that’s okay. I wasn’t quite ready for all of that yet anyhow.
I’ve been too busy to get ready for Rapture, it seems. Summer snuck up on me, it’s now May, and we’ve been lurking here like squatters since last August, and the trailer itself has been parked here since last June. Almost a year, and we’ve not made much progress, or so it seems.
Officially homeless, this rootless state is beginning to cause me a lot of stress. I want some stability, some certainty, and I’m not getting it anytime soon. I’m not sure what would reduce that stress–is it too much or is it too little?
I used to think I’d love being a nomad for a few years, footloose and fancy free. I didn’t realize that footloose and fancy free didn’t mean worry free. We’re not entirely mobile, but we are certainly not entirely stable and fixed either. We’re waiting…for things that we can’t make happen, things that happen according to forces we have absolutely no control over.
Sure we can get our ducks in a row, we can file paperwork, applications for employment, prepare documents, and do a long list of other things…but when it comes right down to it, we don’t have any control over everything from when and where GM finds employment to when we’ll finally manage to buy a piece of property. We need more money than we have, or less…we need to be older than we are…or younger. We need less of a home…or more of a home.
I hate the heat and humidity, but GM hates ice and snow. I don’t really know how I feel about ice and snow anymore–I haven’t lived with it in decades, and my last winter in snow country was a lone winter, with over a decade of snowless life in front of it. One winter can be a novelty, and I was much younger then. I don’t remember it being that awful, but how would I feel about shoveling snow now that I’m officially an antique?
I wish I could find somewhere that didn’t get snow…or 80+ degrees in the summer…and didn’t cost a fortune and have a crowd of other people there. We need to think about a lot of things, from whether or not we want to deal with rural issues or mow yards, or have livestock that forces us to be homebodies…or do we want to be footloose and fancy free and try out the nomadic life?
GM & I are nearing the third anniversary of our engagement now too. We are looking to set a date and make it official, not that it will really change much of anything other than our legal status, as well as other people’s opinion of our relationship. I find that somewhat amusing. The idea that our relationship was viewed as “unstable” and “temporary” is hilarious when I consider the number of people that have met, married and then divorced in the same amount of time we’ve been engaged. Divorce is just too easy to make marriage a stable state, or else too many people consider relationships too lightly. My own first marriage lasted less time than we’ve been engaged. Perhaps that was a contributing factor to me not being in a hurry too–I’m not sure. We surprised people who had known us for a long time when we got engaged–GM & I were friends when I was married before, through the divorce state, and even while I was swearing that “I’d never date another guy I couldn’t whoop with one arm.” (Just for the record, GM is far too big, agile and strong for me to whoop with one arm!) Long term friends who became something more, and marrying my best friend after living together for a couple of years is something that is just right for us.
And for our honeymoon, we’re going to try out being nomads in a smaller bite, never venturing too far from our home base and friends, yet staying on the road and on the move, being vagabonds. We aren’t going to take the travel trailer on this shorter adventure–our van cannot tow it, and with the price of gasoline, who can afford to even consider hauling a massive travel trailer around?
We are going ultra-light in comparison, using hammocks and tent, traveling either by van, scooter, or bicycle…depending on things that we can’t determine right now…and taking our time to experience our little road trip and see things at a slower pace. It will also be our time to celebrate a new phase in our relationship and enjoy it. It’s also a chance to step back, step away, and come back with a refreshed and renewed attitude towards life.
For all of that, face it, it will be a LOT of fun too!